Adventures in Cultivating Happiness - Part 1

Last week, my work offered a lunch time webinar on happiness, so of course I tuned in. I am really interested in happiness and different ways to cultivate it and bring more joy in my life. I found the talk really helpful, so I wanted to share what I learned! The talk was by a member of the staff at CompPsych, an organization that provides services to the employees of my company.

Basically, the talk outlined ten happiness interventions that you can use to increase your happiness. The speaker suggested that you try a few and work to make them habits. He also suggested picking an intervention that feels a little bit uncomfortable, something that you wouldn't normally do, to get the most 'bang for your buck'.

1. Express gratitude - you can keep a gratitude journal or share things with a friend or significant other. You should be specific and come up with different things every time you do this exercise (for example, weekly). Instead of "I'm grateful for my family," try "I'm grateful for my husband who gets up in the morning and makes breakfast." Practice thanking others and telling them that you are grateful for them.
2. Cultivate optimism - reject negative thoughts and try a best-self diary - picture yourself in 5-10 years time, what will your life be like if all of your hard work has paid off and everything has occurred in the best possible way? Write down everything that comes to mind; you have created a compelling view of your future self and created a roadmap for how to get there!
3. Avoid social comparison and dwelling on problems - to release such thoughts, try to distract yourself with another activity (the speaker recommended singing) or talk to someone or write down your thoughts. When you put your thoughts into words, it puts them in perspective and allows you to release them. In addition, once you start comparing yourself to others, whether positively or negatively, it becomes a habit. Instead, compare your current self with your previous self and you'll get less worked up about life.
4. Practice acts of kindness - money doesn't cause happiness, but giving money away does. So, schedule one day a week to do many small acts or one big act of kindness. You should try to alter your acts regularly because if you repeat the same one, you'll adapt to it and will no longer receive such a big benefit. You can also commit to ongoing social service; we don't tend to adapt to social service.
5. Nurture relationships - spend at least 5 hours a week talking one-on-one with your significant other (commute together, exercise together, find time to do activities together where you can talk), in all your relationships, increase your positive communication and decrease the negative - we have a 1:5 ratio of negative to positive communication, meaning we need 5 positive interactions with someone to overcome 1 negative interaction, so build up those positive interactions (appreciation, affection, support) and decrease the negative ones (criticism, demand). Another way to nurture relationships is to enjoy the success of others. We are very good and being there for one another when things aren't going well, but we can do better to also be there when things are going great.

Stay tuned from interventions 6-10 tomorrow!

Photo by Mike, taken during my parents' visit.